The Rise and Fall of Never Ever Land Written by Crystal Lariece with Illustrations by Lawrence Carr
Where do you not see yourself in 5 years? In your career? In your relationship? How about in your overall personal growth? I’ll give you a minute to jot a few of those declarations down.
Got it? Perfect. You’re going to need that shortly.
Within the last 5 years, I have developed an understanding and respect for never saying never. The truth of the matter is that our self-proclaimed “nevers” often become the launch pad to our greatest successes. Fortunate for you, in time you will be doing one or more of what you’ve first declared you would not do at the start of this article. It’s called living and I’m here to remind you that there’s no such thing as “never” in your life’s story.
Why You Should Never Say Never
In your career…
The area of my life where I still have the habit of declaring what I would never do would have to be with my career. By day, I’m left-brained all the way – strategically thinking, writing and doing – in the most boring ways possible. Once the day job ends, my brain does an automatic shift and my creative side goes into overdrive. It’s a serious challenge when it’s your nature to be equally as creative as it is to be analytical.
If there’s anything that I’m sure of when it comes to my career aspirations it’s that, in whatever I do, I must be in a position of leadership. Could you imagine if I were to place a concrete “never” on my career aspiration? I would be done before I’d even have a chance to start. No matter what your career aspirations may be, your only opportunity for success is to be active in a diverse and knowledgeable network, and be innovative in your thinking. Placing the limit of a “never” on your career aspirations will negatively stunt the growth of your network and visionary development.
In your relationships…
Communication is key. So, the moment you tell a friend, partner, or spouse what you never will do you’ve already damaged your relationship; and if you stick to that “never,” be ready to lose that person in the near future. It’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. I’ve had to take it myself. Love is selfless. You will need to let go of those pesky declarations of who you will “never” be and what you will “never” do when someone has come into your life that is worth it.
It’s unfortunate that all relationships can’t be perfect. The worst thing about the ending of relationships is that we often walk away feeling depleted and defeated. That state of mind is a playground for “nevers”. The fact is if you declare a “never” based on something that was not good for you, you are your worst enemy. Don’t limit your possibilities of building healthy relationships, by basing your present on a past experience. Yes, your new partner may have an equally annoying laugh as your ex, but that does not mean that he or she will also make you the brunt of their jokes. Relationships are about taking chances and a limited mindset hinders that key ingredient completely.
In your personal growth…
If you’ve been picking up what I’ve been throwing down thus far, then you should not be at all surprised that I recommend saying no to “never” when it comes to your personal growth. The best is always saved for last, right? You’re human, so that guarantees two things for sure: You will make mistakes (your entire life) and you have full potential to grow. The potential of your growth is solely based on you and your ability to remove all limits.
A close friend of mine recently told me that I have a tendency to want to always be in control. He was absolutely correct. Although it’s an area that I’m still growing in, I am happy to say that my need to “never” not have control of a situation is steadily dissipating. I credit my work on this “never” to my drive to maintain an overall positive mindset. Attempting to control others and situations is so draining and sets you up to be disappointed. Nothing positive can come from that.
The point of it all is simple: When you let go of declaring what you will “never” do, life will work for you. When you are open to reexamining a once failed attempt that you swore you’d “never” do again, in that second chance the stars may align for you greater than you’d imagined.
Life is too vast an experience to limit one’s future based upon what may be unseen in the moment. Be alive in your living. Experience every morsel of it. And, most importantly, never say never.